Meeting the Neighbors (The Ones in Your Basement)

Erin Bjorkstedt
Feb 23
4 min read

Updated: Mar 5

Most of us spend a massive amount of energy trying to be good.

Productive. Likable. Easy to love.

In the process, we quietly tuck the messier parts of ourselves into the basement — our anger, our envy, our jealousy, our “unacceptable” desires. The parts that once got us in trouble. The parts that felt too loud, too needy, too much.

In depth psychology (thanks, Carl Jung), we call this the Shadow.

Your shadow is not evil.

It’s not broken.

It’s not a flaw in your character.

It’s simply the parts of you that learned to hide to survive.

But here’s the thing no one tells you:

Those parts don’t disappear.

They live in the subconscious, quietly shaping your reactions. They show up as emotional static. As overreactions. As defensiveness. As sudden shutdown. As projection.

Shadow work is not about fixing yourself.It’s about turning on the light.

When you own your shadow, it stops owning you.

Why Shadow Work is the Ultimate Power Move

Ignoring your shadow is like trying to hold a beach ball underwater. You can do it for a while… but it takes effort. And eventually, it’s coming up.

An Internal Audit changes that.

Here’s what actually shifts:

You neutralize triggers. You begin to understand why certain people or situations set you off. You move from reactive to responsive.
You reclaim lost energy. Suppressing parts of yourself is exhausting. Integration frees up that fuel.
You stop projecting. You stop seeing your unowned traits in everyone else.
You increase sovereignty. You stop living on autopilot. You start making choices from awareness, not old survival patterns.

That’s not self-help fluff.

That’s nervous system maturity.

The Toolbelt: Support for the Deep Dive

You don’t go into a basement without a flashlight. Shadow work can be intense. Give yourself support.

The Crystals

Black Obsidian: A powerful truth-teller. It mirrors what’s there without cushioning it.

Black Moonstone: Beautiful for navigating hidden, emotional, and cyclical aspects of the subconscious.

Smoky Quartz: Grounding and steady. It helps you stay embodied when emotions get loud.

(And no, you don’t need crystals. But they can anchor intention.)

The Herbs

Mugwort: Traditionally used to thin the veil between conscious and subconscious. A cup of tea before journaling can soften access to what’s hidden.

Patchouli: Earthy and grounding. It keeps you rooted in your body while your mind wanders into deeper terrain.

The Environment

Choose a liminal moment — dusk, candlelight, early morning quiet.

Turn off your notifications.

This is a private investigation.

No performance. No posting about it later.

Just you and the truth.

7 Prompts for Emotional Excavation

Don’t rush these.

Pick one. Sit with it. Let it get uncomfortable.

Be brutally honest—nobody is reading this but you.

The Trigger Audit: Who recently made you irrationally angry or annoyed? What trait do they have that you secretly judge — or aren’t “allowed” to express?
The Mask Check: What story do you tell yourself to maintain your “good person” identity? Who would you be without that story?
The Survival Tactic: As a child, what part of your personality did you mute to stay safe or loved? How is that part trying to speak now?
The Envy Roadmap: Who are you jealous of? What are they embodying that you desire but feel you don’t deserve?
The Validation Hunger: Where are you seeking approval at the expense of your boundaries? What are you afraid will happen if you stop?
The Repressed Emotion: If your anger (or grief) had 60 seconds to speak without consequence, what would it say?
The Decree of Integration: Choose a part of yourself you typically reject. How has that part actually tried to protect you?

Closing the Loop: Integration

Shadow work without grounding turns into rumination.

After journaling, pause.

Place your hand on your heart.

Take a slow breath.

And say:

“I see the parts of me that learned to survive.

I see the parts that became defensive.

I no longer exile them.

I bring them into awareness.

I lead my whole self.”

Let that land.

Then do something grounding.

Eat. Walk. Shower. Step outside.

Integration happens in the body.

And a Gentle Truth: You Don’t Have to Do This Alone

Shadow work can stir up old residue — emotional, energetic, sometimes physical. Journaling reveals the pattern.

But awareness doesn’t always clear it.

This is where Reiki becomes powerful.

Reiki works through the body’s energetic system to move what’s been stuck. Where journaling uncovers the story, Reiki helps release the charge.

Think of shadow work as the detective.Reiki is the integration.

If you’ve been doing the inner work and still feel heavy, foggy, or emotionally charged, that’s not failure. That’s a sign you might need support.

And that’s allowed.

The light doesn’t erase the shadow.It makes it usable.

If this post felt like a mirror and you’re not sure what to do with what you saw, I offer Reiki sessions and deeper support spaces for exactly this kind of work.

Slow. Honest. Integrated.

Explore my Reiki offerings here.